Hello, I don’t know if you remember me. But you did a presentation for me not too long ago. I was hoping you can re-do your presentation based on the responses I got (in order to submit a final draft). You don’t have to re-do, maybe just tweak it so I can submit it. I also wanted to ask, can you finish part II (Design analysis memo) as well? I attached the original guidelines. I’m willing to negotiate on the price, but I believe $20 is fair. PLEASE let me know if you can’t do it for the said budget. PLEASE. Here is the important part for the design analysis memo:

Part II of the requirements is a design analysis memo you will complete after creating adraft of your presentation. This memo is addressed to me, not your peers, and will beincluded with your final presentation draft to the dropbox. In the design analysis memo,explain to me your choices in your presentation promoting your product or service. Whatsteps did you take to connect audience, purpose and message? How does yourpresentation reflect the best practices of professional writing we have been workingwith? Draw on our previous text readings to support your discussion.

Here is the responses I got:

1. Hello Shahinaz,

You have a lot of great information in your power point! My biggest concern for your presentation is visuals. There are a couple slides that have quite a bit of text. To avoid overwhelming the viewer, consider moving some of this text into the notes section of the power point. You could then fill this space with colorful visuals, graphics, charts, or anything else you might find relevant.

Also there a few minor grammar errors I spotted while reading through the presentation. To help eliminate these, I encourage you to quickly read through the presentation out loud. Overall, I think you are off to a great start!

I hope this helps!

2. Hello Shahinaz,

I really like this idea of a digital E-commerce as it has a huge market right now and you would be a very beneficial service to a website that is just starting out. I think you presentation looks amazing and it flows very well. I think you would benefit a lot from informing the audience on how it works and the basics of each service. One thing that i read about e-commerce services is that they bill their customers and the customers don’t know what they are paying for. This could be prevented by creating a time log for each service you provide so the customer is informed at all times. Describing your plans on the future of this company will help your audience know what is in store. I think this is an awesome idea Shahinaz and you did a great job.

3. Hello Shahinaz,

Overall you presentation is very good. I feel that several of your slides were very “wordy” there was almost no white space left on the slide. I suggest making more slides each with the point that your trying to make. Its obviously you are very knowledgeable in this subject. try and sell the knowledge with out crowding the slide. Good luck!

4. Hey Shahinaz,

I really like how you expanded on your idea since reading about on the brainstorming discussion board. The presentation is structured well and it is very visually engaging. Your presentation has so much valuable information and you have some really strong speaking notes. You have great description, branding and action slides. They have just the right amount of text for a power point. Some of your slides are a little wordy, so I suggest reducing those to just the most necessary points. Overall, this is a very strong rough draft with a great idea for a business.